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Crazy Catches...


Fourxquad1
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Years ago, when I got my first Baby Wake, I was throwing it in a little tiny cove with gin clear water and saw a huge shape moving underwater behind it. I was totally focused on the follower and didn't see the giant, full grown blue heron heading for it until it just plopped out of the sky onto my bait. Keep in mind, this is a wading bird. A very large wading bird. So, there was no grace at all involved in this maneuver. It just flopped into the water like the house falling from the sky in the Wizard of Oz. It grabbed the bait in it's beak and started trying to take off.

 

After a half second of being completely freaked the f*k out, I started yanking on the line as hard as I could and commenced an outburst of profanity that would have made a drill sergeant blush. At this point, the bird was about twenty yards away. I was in a kayak. So me reeling it in consisted less of pulling the bird towards me and was more like we were meeting in the middle. Normally, they are pretty shy birds but I think the fact that it thought I was trying to steal it's food made it hyper aggressive.

 

The bait was cross-ways, about 2/3 of the way up it's beak and I was just hoping the hooks weren't in it too bad. But, it was my first 3:16 so I would have cut that thing open to get my bait back, if it came to it. It's flopping desperately in the water and I'm cursing and reeling as best I can. This probably went on for a couple of minutes and then I realized that this line of action was leading to something bad. Something really bad. The very large, very angry bird was now at my kayak.

 

In case you have not seen an adult blue heron in person, let me take a moment to describe it. They stand about four and a half feet tall. The wing span is easily over six feet. The beak is the better part of a foot long. It is a very sharp beak.

 

So, as this thing gets to my kayak, I am faced with a nearly five foot tall bird flapping six foot wings at me as hard as it can and lashing out with long, clawed legs. There is just not enough room in my kayak for both me and the heron, especially with all that going on. Then, I learned something about herons. It turns out that when they fight, they instinctively stab at your eyes and face with their beak. Oh joy.

 

All I could do to keep it from stabbing me in the eyes was to desperately yank on the fishing line every time it lunged at me, since the bait was still in it's beak. This went on for much longer than I would have liked. I was kind of stuck because I was trying to resolve the situation without hurting it and I know they have fragile bones, so I didn't want to punch, kick or otherwise strike it.

 

Then, because this is Austin, I hear some chick's voice yelling at me from the bank "Duuuude, leave the bird alone! Stop hurting nature!" I look over and there is a group of stoned hippie chicks on the shore, freaking out and yelling at me. Awesome. And, seriously, "stop hurting nature"? Who that f*k says that?

 

So there I am, floating, in my kayak, with a furious heron fighting me in the boat, trying to stab my eyes out, and I'm laughing like an idiot because the only thought that's in my head is "your crane style kung-fu is strong but my dragon style is stronger. "

 

By this time, it was obvious that I wasn't going to get the bait back by just pulling on the line, so I full-on Bart Simpson'd the thing. I grabbed it's neck with both hands and shook until it finally dropped the bait. Once it dropped the Baby Wake, it started screeching and struggled to get airborne but not before crapping all over the front of my kayak.

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Years ago, when I got my first Baby Wake, I was throwing it in a little tiny cove with gin clear water and saw a huge shape moving underwater behind it. I was totally focused on the follower and didn't see the giant, full grown blue heron heading for it until it just plopped out of the sky onto my bait. Keep in mind, this is a wading bird. A very large wading bird. So, there was no grace at all involved in this maneuver. It just flopped into the water like the house falling from the sky in the Wizard of Oz. It grabbed the bait in it's beak and started trying to take off.

 

After a half second of being completely freaked the f*k out, I started yanking on the line as hard as I could and commenced an outburst of profanity that would have made a drill sergeant blush. At this point, the bird was about twenty yards away. I was in a kayak. So me reeling it in consisted less of pulling the bird towards me and was more like we were meeting in the middle. Normally, they are pretty shy birds but I think the fact that it thought I was trying to steal it's food made it hyper aggressive.

 

The bait was cross-ways, about 2/3 of the way up it's beak and I was just hoping the hooks weren't in it too bad. But, it was my first 3:16 so I would have cut that thing open to get my bait back, if it came to it. It's flopping desperately in the water and I'm cursing and reeling as best I can. This probably went on for a couple of minutes and then I realized that this line of action was leading to something bad. Something really bad. The very large, very angry bird was now at my kayak.

 

In case you have not seen an adult blue heron in person, let me take a moment to describe it. They stand about four and a half feet tall. The wing span is easily over six feet. The beak is the better part of a foot long. It is a very sharp beak.

 

So, as this thing gets to my kayak, I am faced with a nearly five foot tall bird flapping six foot wings at me as hard as it can and lashing out with long, clawed legs. There is just not enough room in my kayak for both me and the heron, especially with all that going on. Then, I learned something about herons. It turns out that when they fight, they instinctively stab at your eyes and face with their beak. Oh joy.

 

All I could do to keep it from stabbing me in the eyes was to desperately yank on the fishing line every time it lunged at me, since the bait was still in it's beak. This went on for much longer than I would have liked. I was kind of stuck because I was trying to resolve the situation without hurting it and I know they have fragile bones, so I didn't want to punch, kick or otherwise strike it.

 

Then, because this is Austin, I hear some chick's voice yelling at me from the bank "Duuuude, leave the bird alone! Stop hurting nature!" I look over and there is a group of stoned hippie chicks on the shore, freaking out and yelling at me. Awesome. And, seriously, "stop hurting nature"? Who that f*k says that?

 

So there I am, floating, in my kayak, with a furious heron fighting me in the boat, trying to stab my eyes out, and I'm laughing like an idiot because the only thought that's in my head is "your crane style kung-fu is strong but my dragon style is stronger. "

 

By this time, it was obvious that I wasn't going to get the bait back by just pulling on the line, so I full-on Bart Simpson'd the thing. I grabbed it's neck with both hands and shook until it finally dropped the bait. Once it dropped the Baby Wake, it started screeching and struggled to get airborne but not before crapping all over the front of my kayak.

 

First - you are one crazy MF'er. Then again, back in the day 316 was gold in most eyes.

 

Second - the way you depicted the story, I could visualize every moment. Again you are a crazy MF'er to go up against one of those beasts. In my younger days, I almost went at it with a Canada Goose. LOL - I'm Canadian, and we don't fight unless hockey is involved. My fight only had a purse of a popper. Doesn't even compare to your purse.

 

Third - once time machines are the norm (apparently there are some out there), let's go back into time before your title bout and equipped the soon to be champ with a GoPro!

 

 

... So who you going to fight next CHAMP!?

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In case you have not seen an adult blue heron in person, let me take a moment to describe it. They stand about four and a half feet tall. The wing span is easily over six feet. The beak is the better part of a foot long. It is a very sharp beak.

 

 

Was his name Kevin? :lol:

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